[playlist: the shrubbing of the floor]

i'm eating beancurd jelly again! the rate i'm eating and the rate my mother buy food fer me. it is the end fer me. cos i'll be fat. i emphasize on the word. FAT! oh no. man. this is really bad.i must really go on a diet. ahhh. i can see the kilograms adding on me. especially after all of wad i ate yesterday. *that's the death sign fer me* ahhh. nuer mush mush go on diet. mush remind me.



ugh. shall blog later. lazy.

[playlist:gu dan bei ban qiu]

sigh. school is okay. as usual got into some trouble wid nuer wid mrs phang cos we didnt hand up out work. and after tad, i think we spoil her mood. so she punished some people cos they didnt bring their work. den cat she had her back facing mrs phang was making funny faces. so nuer and i giggled and it went worst till we laughed.
den this is wad happen.

mrs phang: you girls are so mean. people in the
corner are getting punished and yet you
all still can laugh. *stares at us*
i believe wad goes round will come back.
you girls seem like a bunch of sadistic,
bitchy girls. *looks*

hmmm. ugh. nvm. school wasnt tad great today. PE. was really bad. hmmm did 70 guys push ups. almost died. den my ankle was like hurting like mad. *rawrs*
nuer is STRONG! mr sng says so. :) *keep up the good work nuer*

hmmm. crap. who cares bout my day? suddenly i think i became moody. still got to do my lit work. the 3 questions. still have to do my task. as in i want to do my task.

i duno. sudden urge to cry. dun ask me why. is just there will be a time where you just wanna cry. fer the sake of crying. hmm. i concluded tad i'm mad. really mad. hmmm. going to do my lit work soon. cos i dun wanna ms lee to actually chase me out of the class.

hmpt. brother is scolding me. hmmm. ya. all my fault la. hmmm. not using a head phone is my fault. not being considerate is my fault. not being a good sister is my fault. ya. you're right. i'm a mistake in this family. you all be happier without me. you're right. so right.

never mind. anyway in this family. no one wipes of my tears, parents see me crying can just brush me off.never mind i'm used to being the one tad is invisible in this house. *shrugs*

going to do my lit work. gotta complete the things i wanna complete today.

You are homosexual.


What is your sexual orientation?
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.:dee:.

silly.dun have to be like tad.why mush i come across something so disheartening in your blog. when i read it. i feek the pain you are feeling.dun be silly to look at the window and look at the candle lights.tad's all gonna bring you memories.and your heart will shatter and hurt more.dun cry le. *i'm here to wipe away the tear. you shed so much tears and all of it are stored in bottles tad has her name on. i know tad. i see it from my own eyes.

silly girl. dun suffered like wad i did cos of something you cant let go. try girl. you were there when i was broken. now is my turn to be there fer you. infront of me dun put a mask on. i'm sorry tad i didnt realise tad you were suffering all alone.really sorry.

dun let the past affect you cos it will only darken the image you have fer your future. remember tad i'm always here. so someone do love you. the family do too. dun put on tad smiling face when inside you. you're not happy at all.pls dun do tad.
i dun wanna see you cry and i cry too. it breaks all of our hearts to see how you wallow your pain and kept it hush. dun be silly.

[playlist: lets get retarded]

haas.tmr is holiday!yay. finally things are settling down. not tad confused.sigh. it was a tough one. school started and things got harder. wid all the unknown logics tad i've to learn. *screams* sigh. and i TELL you SOMETHING! my nuer is sitting WID me again! wohoo. we rock the school being the "the duo trouble makers" esp towardes MR yEO.gaas. tad my loudspeaker chem teacher.he HATES me.*run away* okay. yupp. good things happen and bad thingsa happen too.we shall see how fate is going to play me now. sigh. i duno. i duno. i really duno. hmm. met up wid my mummiee. daddiee, dee and pts. hmmpts. dun worry we all LOVE you SOSoSOso much. dun take a really long time to realise tad.the family love you all the bits. hees. i am happy. really i am. believe it or not. life is set on track. but still i'm seeing wad life gonna give me. darl. hees. yupp. i love ya!


will blog another day. i'm lazy. hees.

[playlist :only hope]

wad you do wan to me to say? hate the way i am leading my life. hate the way this life is screwed up. hate the way you assume. hate the way you left me. it wasnt your decision. it is mine. had you look within the surface and see? not playing a blaming game here. not wanting to argue who's right and who's wrong.everyone wants their fair share of love.i didnt love you the way you wanted me to. this is wad i failed to do when i left without the heart tad was meant fer you. i am left hollow now. wad do you want me to saY? HOW WISHED I CHLD CRY EVERYTHING TAD IS BOTTLED UP. but sadly i cant cry adn i vent out on anything. wad do you want me to say?wad i hold on now is the time and memories. i once said tad i dun leave fer the memories but the present. but i live fer the memories, the times we fought, the times, we laugh and the times we are happy. you always say that one day this will end. it did. drawn a fullstop on our story. without your heart there isnt any 'us' anymore.

[playlist:i'll never gonna leave your side]

this is where i'm really leaving you. i didnt mean it. a second chance given to both of us.a man can lose its mind. living wid this pain. i just hope i never lose my mind. i hopei wont lose this breathe the open door to this life.

::you::
i never want to leave your side. but i have to.now.i tried so hard to make things the same.but when things seem to be okay already. i have to take my leave now.this is not my will. but i am left wif no choice tad my father gave me.maybe i should be thankful tad he didnt do anything towards you at all.i'm sorry fer not giving you a chance earlier.made you suffer so much fer me.i never loved someone so truely so much.but maybe cos of this i can say tad love has let me down. i've lost every reason to smile and wake up in the morning.sigh.i know i cant heal the broken pieces of your heart.cos i cant heal a injured bird when i'm injured here to.i drop you down from the happiness tad you wanted.how i wish you will know how am i feeling now.if i can change this, i would. but sadly i cant at all. i want to and i tried.it's all my fault tad things become like tad.though we always quarrel, i never stopped loving you at all.though there were times i wanted to give up, but love pull me thru. i always love you.i will always miss you. i will always remeber the times we had.